THE LAST DITCH -- Douglas Olson — FREAK SHOW #18

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Freak show #18
A cavalcade of arts and farces
 
By DOUGLAS OLSON

 

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   The NAACP now openly boasts that it will actively shake down businesses for "reparations" and boycott those that refuse to participate in its "diversity report card" scam. Interim NAACP president Dennis C. Hayes has declared, "Many of the problems we have now, including poverty [and] disparities in health care and incarcerations, can be directly tied to slavery." Silly us — we thought incarcerations were tied directly to committing crimes!

   A New Hampshire woman recently filed a complaint with the state Board of Medicine after her doctor told her that she needed to lose weight. It was forwarded to the state attorney general's office, which tried — so far unsuccessfully — to force the doctor to attend a "medical education course" as punishment.

   The Hill, a newspaper covering Congress, opened a story by stating: "A dozen corporate lobbyists, who happen to be black, will start pressing members of the Congressional Black Caucus" on a certain issue. What a happy coincidence that all of the lobbyists assigned to twist the arms of black lawmakers just "happen" to be black!

   A British teachers' union has proposed elimination of the concept of "failure" for students. In its ultra-sensitive Newspeak, inability to meet standards would be considered "deferred success."

   During an unsuccessful effort by Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm (D) to pass a massive tax increase, she denounced a Wall Street Journal column that pointed out that her plan would cost 20,000 jobs, calling the piece "treasonous for the state of Michigan" and suggesting that one of its authors, a state legislator, "should be removed from office."

   The American Red Cross has fired an employee because, as a Christian, he refused to observe Gay and Lesbian Pride Month. "I'm still struggling to see a correlation between celebrating Great Americans [as in Black History Month and Women's History Month] and celebrating a sexual preference," declared Michael Hartman.

   Christopher D. Morris, identified only as a "writer and critic in Northfield, Vt.," recently published a piece in the Boston Globe proposing a law to bar Catholic judges from hearing any case involving abortion. Morris claims the church-state barrier was broken by the Catholic hierarchy's unrealized threat last year to deny communion to Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry and other politicians who support and facilitate abortion.

   The "equal opportunity" Correctional Service of Canada is recruiting for parole officers, but it advises that "we will continue to accept applications from aboriginal and visible-minority candidates only."

   A former Baylor University theology student has been ordered to pay the school $77,000 in damages and fees for sending more than a thousand pornographic and "racist" e-mails to Baylor staff and officials.

   A retired professor of Canada's Royal Military College has called for state control over religion, especially Catholicism: "Couldn't we insist that human rights, employment, and consumer legislation apply to them as it does to other organizations? Then it would be illegal to require a particular marital status as a condition of employment or to exclude women from the priesthood."

   The Ninth Circus [sic] Court of Appeals in California has granted asylum to a Mexican illegal alien because he is homosexual. He would "probably" face abuse in his home country, and would likely have trouble getting treatment for his AIDS there, moaned the bleeding hearts in black robes. "Send me your homos, the disease-laden refuse of your teeming shores ..."

   The Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia has reinstated a lawsuit against Osama bin Laden, filed by citizens of Kenya who were injured in the 1998 bombing of the U.S. Embassy in Nairobi. Somehow, these learned idiots have concluded that a complaint by one foreign party against another foreign party over an incident in a foreign country is legitimate fodder for the American judicial system. Our lawyers must really be getting hungry.

   Following an explosion of outrage from the usual suspects, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) quickly aborted a planned 42-city tour of a graphic display analogizing the suffering of animals to slavery and the Holocaust. "I am a black man! I can't compare the suffering of those black human beings to the suffering of this cow!" screamed one observer at the tour's first stop, in Connecticut. The Anti-Defamation League had previously condemned the group's references to the late unpleasantness in Europe, and PETA had apologized, but maintained that it stood by its comparisons.

   After declaring, "Folks, you all know I have a rule. I don't seat all white jurors," Cook County (Chicago) Circuit Judge Evelyn Clay says she regrets being so blunt. Clay, who — surprise! — is black, made the remarks to attorneys in her chambers. She admits they were "indelicately stated" but says she believed qualified blacks were not being selected for a murder trial.

   In the face of continued "insensitive" refusals by the Food and Drug Administration to begin accepting blood donations from AIDS-inclined homosexuals, some suicidal (and murderous) college students are trying to pressure a change. A University of Vermont student filed a "civil rights" complaint against the Red Cross over a campus blood drive, and the University of New Hampshire student government contacted 200 other schools to enlist their aid in this protest against sanity.

   New York authorities recently discovered that a convicted rapist has been allowed to serve as a foster-parent to as many as 50 children over the past four years. Nicholas Chaney, who admits to a conviction for having sex with a 16-year-old in 1989, says he put the information on his application form, which was approved by the Jefferson County Social Services Department.

   A Muslim cleric who cheered the 9/11 attacks on America as "magnificent" says it would be "unfair" for Britain to deport him. Omar Bakri, who has been sponging off British taxpayers for 20 years, whines, "I have wives, children, sons-in-law, daughters-in-law. It would be hard on my family if I was deported."

October 30, 2005

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