www.thornwalker.com/ditch/olson_25.htm
Freak show #25
Legal
freakery
By DOUGLAS OLSON
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"God works wonders now and then: Behold! A lawyer and an honest man." Benjamin Franklin
Possibly with the intent to celebrate Martin Luther King Day (or Black
Monday, as I prefer to call it) in a way that would truly honor the spirit of
Justice à la Chappaquiddick
The Bristol County (Massachusetts) district attorney has dropped drunk-driving charges against Suzanne Magaziner, a "politically connected
socialite" who twice blew .12 on a Breathalyzer test far above the
legal limit of .08. The hopelessly compromised prosecutor claimed lamely
that he could not get reports on the accuracy of the machine. Just
coincidentally, of course (wink!), Suzanne's husband is former Clinton
White House aide Ira Magaziner, against whom a federal judge sought
perjury charges in the 1990s for his defense of Hillary's health-care
lawbreaking. More recently, the Magaziners were key fund-raisers for new
Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick (D), a race-obsessed, white-hating
Negro.
Outrage against Diversity!
A Georgia jury has found an Ethiopian guilty of aggravated battery and
cruelty to children because he mutilated the genitals of his 2-year-old
daughter in an ancient African ceremony. Khalid Adem's attorney
contended that his client was innocent and the girl's mother, who is from
South Africa, or her relatives must have been responsible. (Apparently the
whole famn damily has invaded our shores another Diverse
blessing for America!) After half a lifetime of hearing endless official
pronouncements that "all cultures are equally valid," we now discover that
some narrow-minded prosecutors are shockingly "insensitive" to some
African traditions.
It takes a Negro
Now comes Joshua Bush of Texas, 17, who has retained an attorney to
fight efforts by Jefferson County prosecutors to remove a bullet from his
(Bush's) forehead, on the grounds that it would violate his civil rights.
According to police, Bush tried to shoot a local businessman, who
happened to be a competitive pistol shooter and nailed the Negro right
between and two inches above the eyes. But the 9mm bullet failed to
penetrate Bush's thick skull and remains embedded there (seriously
there are photos on the Internet). Loudly proclaiming his innocence
even as he remains in jail for robbery, Bush has agreed to the operation
only if prosecutors will promise not to pursue charges of
attempted capital murder. Two judges have issued search warrants, but
local hospitals refuse to perform the procedure.
Evading the stench
Members of the Association of Trial Lawyers of America (ATLA) have
voted to change the organization's name to the American Association for
Justice (AAJ) naturally for a very devious reason. According to a
pair of national polls and some focus-group research sponsored by the
Institute for Legal Reform (a subsidiary of the U.S. Chamber of Commerce),
the ATLA name received a distinctly "unfavorable" response, while the
majority viewed the new name favorably. When told that the AAJ was
really a euphemism for trial lawyers, focus groups were reported to be
"aghast."
Blind compassion
Ruling that U.S. money discriminates against the blind, a federal judge has
ordered the United States to make its various currency denominations
easier to differentiate by touch. The change won't only cost untold billions
of federal tax dollars but will also impose a cost on the vending-machine
industry of as much as
To be fair, though, this is not Judge James Robertson's fault, even though
he is a Clinton appointee. He didn't make up this disaster out of whole
judicial cloth, but instead is adhering to the letter of the Rehabilitation
Act, through which congressional idiots authorized a
blank check to ensure that "no qualified individual with a disability in the
United States shall be excluded from, or denied the benefits of, or be
subject to discrimination under" any federal program or
activity.
The sacred right to sue
Niklas Lindgren, who has been sentenced to
That Jewish passion for justice
A ritzy private Jewish school in
New Jersey has agreed to pay
After forging a power-of-attorney document, a heavily Jewish cabal of New Yorkers stole a half-million-dollar house from a woman dying of cancer. According to police, Nathen Farkas forged the paper, which was notarized by Jerry Brauner, a 53-year-old rabbi already on probation for sexual abuse of a 15-year-old boy. That gave Russell Pitt control of the house, which he sold to a fourth conspirator, Winston Roche, for $476,000 and all four split those proceeds, leaving Roche's mortgage lender holding the bag. Brauner was also charged with lying about his pedophile convictions when applying for a notary license.
February 13, 2007
© 2007 Douglas Olson. All rights reserved.
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