www.thornwalker.com/ditch/olson_contents.htm


 

Douglas Olson

Douglas Olson specializes in swooping-out-of-the-sun, machine-gun-hammering raids on the current pieties. He arrived at TLD only in 2003, but he was hardly new to the fight. Veteran readers of samizdat may recall seeing his byline from time to time in another forum, since folded, that featured frank commentary on certain cultural and ethnic matters. Mr. Olson's own frankness remains utterly unfolded.

His columns appear under the standing series title The Olson file, and he collects his short takes on modern inanities and insanities in the Freak show, the installments of which are numbered in the order of their appearance.

— Nicholas Strakon

 

• I broke new ground at TLD in posting this gripping short story by Mr. Olson: "Something Is Wrong." (October 27, 2009)

Freak show #35: "Fool, Britannia!" (October 15)

Freak show #34: "Catering to the deluded, the demented, and the insane" (May 22)

• Back when I was an employee, I occasionally found myself feeling grateful to our rulers for extending to us little ones the gracious favor called the 401(k). Over the past eight months many employees have had a broader perspective thrust upon them, but this is TLD, so clearly that's not enough. Here's an even broader — and darker — perspective, courtesy of Mr. Olson: "401(k) follies" (April 25)

• I wish Mr. Olson would quit being such a mildcat and would tell us what he really thinks of the New Decider: "If Mencken could see Obama ..." (February 19, 2009)

Freak show #33: "My hero!" (October 1, 2008)

Freak show #32: "More horrors of government" (August 18)

• To paraphrase the deathbed remark attributed to Vespasian, I think he is turning into a god. And unlikelier god material would be hard to find, as Mr. Olson vividly demonstrates in this pre-obituary, which we trust will ignite outrage in respectable quarters, as truth-telling tends to do: "The man who murdered America." (July 26)

• Let's not forget Hillary — as if we could. Mr. Olson certainly hasn't. In this installment of "The Olson file," he has written "The speech Hillary should have made to the superdelegates."

Matters Hillarious aside, you'll see sharply pointed observations here about Young Dr. Change, who succeeded in taking Big Nurse off the ward. (June 20)

• Mr. Olson detects some favoritism in the established media's treatment of The Man Who May Eventually Admit to Being the Presumptive Nominee: "'Free' press is hitman for St. Barack." (May 8)

Freak show #31: "Just too good to miss" (February 15, 2008)

Freak show #30: "State rape: the horrors of government" (December 14, 2007)

• Winning this season's prize for niftiest title at TLD — Mr. Olson wrote it himself, I hasten to add — is "Laws by Orwell, trials by Kafka." It deserves to win other prizes as well, but our adversaries will no doubt deem it eligible only for the HATE sweepstakes. That's all right: we're used to it. (October 15.)

Freak show #29: "My religion — your problem!" (October 6)

Freak show #28: "Dueling privileges, or, Ain't diversity wonderful?" (September 16)

Freak show #27: "All hail the 'religion of peace' — or face death, you infidel dogs!" (August 30)

• Many of us have probably spent some time wading through the fever swamps, but there comes a time when a fellow just has to cool things down and dry them off a bit, and that's the task Mr. Olson set for himself in this entry: "Conspiracy madness." (August 23)

• On Independence Day 2007 it's pretty clear what Douglas Olson would like to be independent of: "Unthinkable thoughts #3." But he, and we, would first have to recapture our liberty. (July 4)

• OK, in coming to a column by Mr. Olson you know not to expect the sweet yet teary murmurings of Social Service and the Helping Professions, right? That said, here is "Before, during, and after Blacksburg: Other losses." (April 25)

Freak show #26: "Idiots spending your money" (March 17)

• On Mardis gras, Mr. Olson offers a festive look at certain escapades that are becoming ever more common in post-Katrina New Orleans, as well as comment on how they're being portrayed by the Paper of Record: "Blood and chocolate." (February 20)

Freak show #25: "Legal freakery" (February 13)

• If all government relies on deceit, then it follows that all politics purporting to be democratic rely on betrayal. In his first salvo for 2007, Mr. Olson examines an aspect of the betrayal that no doubt infuriates a lot of right-wingers who are still addicted to voting: "Racial treason: the conservative malady." (January 11, 2007)

Freak show #24: "A few of the biggest jackasses on the planet" (December 7, 2006)

• Given the political gravity of the Zeitgeist, one doesn't expect to find an equal playing field anywhere, not even between the two ruling parties of leviathan. As the Big Election of 2006 neared, Mr. Olson took a good look at the politics of vice and found that there isn't an equal sinning field, either: "Sex and the stupid Republicans." (November 4, 2006)

Freak show #23: "Stupid Negro tricks" (September 5)

• Here's how Mr. Olson begins his column for August 5: "There is no such thing in America and other European-descended nations as a 'minority problem.'" Now that should pique your interest: "Another race-traitor bites the dust."

• Certain aspects of the study of history are now illegal in many advanced, progressive social democracies around the world, and I'm afraid this column of Mr. Olson's would get him (and me) jugged in a lot of them: "A tale of two wars on terrorism." (July 14)

Freak show #22 (May 10)

Freak show #21 (March 28)

• In continued commemoration of Black History month, Mr. Olson laments the great crime that landed the Africans among us and reminds us, good and hard, of the result: "Negroes: America's permanent basket case." (February 24)

Freak show #20: "A collection of classic colored freaks for Black History Month." (February 17)

Freak show #19: "Raping children, and other 'equally valid' cultural practices." (January 5, 2006)

• In this "Olson file" entry, Mr. Olson makes a characterization and states an imperative: "The president is a liar, and impeachment must be considered." That's actually all I can say about this one. You'll see why. (December 7, 2005)

Freak show #18: "A cavalcade of arts and farces" (October 30)

• In this chapter of "The Olson file" our always compassionate, humanitarian, sensitive, etc., etc., Mr. Olson stands up for Diversity, which is under attack in North Carolina: "Conservatives and damned fools — or is that redundant?" He targets one example of illogic that I found breath-taking; and needless to say, he blows it sky-high. (September 2)

Freak show #17 (August 6)

• You don't have to be Michael Shermer or Paul Kurtz or some other "skeptical" defender of Establishment orthodoxy to throw cold water on certain post-9/11 bonfires, and Douglas Olson splashes away in the latest addition to "The Olson file": "I love a conspiracy." (July 19)

• In this installment of "The Olson file," Mr. Olson reminds us that governmental deceit + force = crime: "Social Security with the mask off." (June 7)

• In the wake of Brian Nichols's rampage in Atlanta, Minitrue did its best to send us to bed well-powdered with pretty stories of redemption and reconciliation, so let's be grateful to Mr. Olson for bypassing all that and driving right to the heart of the matter, in this addition to "The Olson file": "Quotas kill four in Atlanta." (May 5)

To forestall objections, let me note that the title of this piece employs poetic license to focus our attention on certain state policies. We are aware that quotas don't kill people — people kill people.

Freak show #16 (April 7)

Freak show #15: "Politics 101: The Three Branches of Government" (March 8)

Freak show #14 (January 15)

• To Mr. Olson goes the honor of being the first TLD writer to have a new piece posted in 2005. I've put this one in "The Olson file," but it's really a bit of a "special," the second in a series: "Unthinkable thoughts #2." (January 4, 2005)

Freak show #13 (December 20, 2004)

Freak show #12 (November 20)

• In an addition to "The Olson file," the diffident, soft-spoken centrist Olson comments — displaying all the respect due them — on "The lunatics, knaves, and fanatics who rule us." (October 27)

Freak show #11 (October 11)

• Mr. Olson has really got the number of the Wee One appointed to rule over us and drain away our substance: "Nobody loves a shabbos goy: Bush, Iraq, and Israel" ("The Olson file"). I'm afraid this one may provoke a spasm of HAAAAATE, though, so we'll be reinforcing the Bunker. (September 15)

Freak show #10 (August 20)

• Remember the "Urban Legend" series of horror movies? A whole new class of urban legend has emerged, and in light of Mr. Olson's investigation, it looks as though the System will have to call on Hollywood if it wants these fables, too, to have the ring of truth: "Any damned fool can spell 'KKK'" ("The Olson file"). (July 29)

• "The Olson file": Mr. Olson both amuses and horrifies as he recounts one of the newest chapters in the continuing melodrama of Black Self-Esteem: "'Uppity Negress' — The ultimate truth in advertising." (June 30)

Freak show #9 (June 30)

• "The Olson file": Mr. Olson proffers "Unthinkable thoughts" — "unthinkable," that is, for those in thrall to the World Party Line. (May 28)

Freak show #8 (May 22)

• In April's "The Olson file," Mr. Olson shows what can happen when Leviathan tries to administer the last thing it ought to be messing around with, Liberty: "The unforgivable crime of being right." (April 29)

Freak show #7 (April 17)

• In the fifth installment of "The Olson file," Mr. Olson appeals to the highest of all high courts in arguing that " 'Diversity' is disaster: The Bible tells us so." (March 20)

Freak show #6 (March 20)

• In his fourth "Olson file" column, Mr. Olson has some hard but necessary words for those on the Right: "Pornography for conservatives." (February 20)

• In his third column, the historical-minded Mr. Olson offers a provocative new entry after meditating on some of the season's more heart-warming tales of derring-do: "The incredible shrinking Negro ability to succeed." (January 27)

Freak show #5 (January 24, 2004)

• In the second installment of "The Olson file," Mr. Olson once again yanks the rug out from under the nasty goofs we're all supposed to worship: "What makes a 'civil rights leader'?" (December 22, 2003)

Freak show #4 (December 22)

Freak show #3 (November 24)

• In the first installment of his occasional column, "The Olson file," Mr. Olson reports that the Supreme Court's diversity alchemy may have achieved "'Critical mass' in Mississippi." (October 28)

Freak show #2 (October 9)

Freak show #1 (September 9, 2003)